Lonely

To be lonely is not a new thing for me. I'm a solitaire rather than communal. If someone ask me do you like to make friend? Do you like to hang out with your friend? Definitely yes, I do. But I can't. I am not good at making friend stuffs. When I get along with my friends, I just feel uneasy. I feel worry to make them disappointed. Weird feeling I guess. I will busy to think what they think about me, what should I do to make them laugh, what should I do to make them always be my friend. I will be another me, the strange me. I will become another one. It's tiring me....

But, I realized then, that it's much harder to be lonely. Don't know to whom I can share my worries, to whom I can share my happiness, to whom I can talk all I want to talk, to whom I can show my weakness comfortably, to whom I don't need to pretend to be another one, to whom I can be honest and believe, counting on and protect. I don't know yet, how far I can stand. But when I can't stand it anymore, would you be my friend?